Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
