just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
