Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
