the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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