All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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