My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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