I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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