I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
