So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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