About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
