so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You are the jesus of drinking
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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