she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
