my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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