So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
