youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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