4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
