that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I believe in your delicious
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
