That's when you crack a 10am beer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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