i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
