Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
