I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the day after is always just damage control
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
