I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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