I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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