People in love make me want to vomit
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
