The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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