last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
