i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
