is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
