So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
