Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
