No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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