My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
