if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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