carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
