Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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