is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
