Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
