So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
