spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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