Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
