I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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