yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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