i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
