her vagine was all disorganized.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
