guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
