the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
