So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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