its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
