He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
