So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
