I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
